A Betrayal of Trust

28 Jan

Shukri and I had met in mid-February of 2020. I was feeling great about myself. I was laughing, chatting people up, smiling and just all around jovial. Because of this, I made a joke with Shukri and he responded in a positive and upbeat way. It was then we introduced ourselves to one another. At first he really was not much to look at, but I chose to not allow that fact to be a problem. I liked his baritone voice as it was deep and pleasant to my ears. Shukri appeared to be friendly enough, and he seemed as if he were the type of man that I would like to get to know. However, for a few seconds, I heard a voice warning me not to continue on with the conversation and not to give Shukri my phone number when he asked. I unfortunately ignored that voice. Pay attention to those warning signals. They've been put there by Father Yah (you know Him as God) for a good reason. 

No matter what a man looks like, be he ugly or cute, it has no bearing on his character. There's a myth that an ugly man will treat you better. Perhaps in some cases it is true, but not in all circumstances. Toxic people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, ethnicities and faces. A phenomenal smile and eyes that shine will deceive you. You can't trust everyone because not all people are trustworthy. There are those people who are not of good character. They are arrogant, obnoxious, thoughtless, self-centered and it's apparent in how they treat others.

About a month into seeing one another, Shukri had called me saying he was in Charlottesville, VA at his doctor's office. He said that he would call me back later on that day. Of course, I thought nothing of it, so I told him to let me know what the outcome was. When Shukri did phone me again, he said that he had been admitted to the University of Virginia Hospital in Charlottesville, VA. I was upset and concerned because I knew that he had had kidney surgery in the past. Then something happened. My woman's intuition kicked in after I spoke with Shukri. Something was not right. I called UVa Hospital and Martha Jefferson Hospital in Charlottesville and Shukri was not in either one. I also called the local hospital in our area. Again, he had not been admitted. The beginning of the betrayal of my trust had began.

I called him and left Shukri a scathing message about his lies regarding his whereabouts. At that time I had no idea nor understanding how accomplished and subtle he was in being untrustworthy, verbally and emotionally abusive, controlling and manipulative.  Not to mention toxic. Because of these things, Shukri flipped the script when I confronted him and he became enraged. The verbal assault came as he bellowed, "It's none of your damn business!" I believed I was in the wrong though Shukri had called me with the story and the lies. Know that a lie is a lie is a lie. Here's the thing. For way too many people, when hearing a lie over and over again and for a very lengthy time it becomes the truth. This is but one form of manipulation. Someone who manipulates cannot be trusted.

Trust. All relationships must be built on trust. In trusting someone we're firmly believing in their reliability, honesty and strength. Without these things in place, there is no trust. Also, when you trust another soul, you are putting your precious care in their hands. Are you or are you not more worthy than rubies, diamonds and gold? You are, so know to whom it is you are making earn your trust. Don't simply give it away! This is why you have to take a long time to try to get to know someone. To know their background, the family history, whom they have dated before, etc. Even then, there are plenty of people very skilled when it comes to gaining your trust and telling you believable lies.  It happens more than perhaps people are willing to admit.

Once finding the strength to leave Shukri I began to heal from his abusive deeds and words. Although I am still healing, and it takes time, I've come a long way from the madness I endured. I can say that I am free. I give praises and blessings to Father Yah and I am proud of my own determination and the desire to keep moving forward. To consistently tell lies and  be untrustworthy to someone you care about is to be brutal and heartless. Learn how to trust yourself first and foremost. Be certain of your own ability, reliability and strength. This is a process which takes time, and you can do it. Be careful and very selective as to whom you allow into your close, inner circle. Most of all, love you. Learn and live.

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